If it is to be shameless to plug fanfics...

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If it is to be shameless to plug fanfics...

Postby tilinelson2 » Tue Apr 12, 2011 1:53 am

I'm the most shameless guy over there.

Here are my fanfics: http://www.fanfiction.net/u/2572473/

Some are here in pscave, some in Fringes too, but the complete collection is on ff.net

Beware, some fanfics have strong and graphic scenes. Not for the faint of heart ;)
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Re: If it is to be shameless to plug fanfics...

Postby tilinelson2 » Fri May 13, 2011 2:02 am

Not that people will care too much, but there is a new PSIV fanfic around: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6984641/1/Memories_of_Love
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Postby tilinelson2 » Sun Aug 07, 2011 2:25 pm

I don't like very much to post links every time I write a new fanfic because it looks like "hey, pay attention to me!", but as this fanfic is not in the place some people usually go to find it, I'm posting it here, for whom it may concern: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7254868/1/M ... _Lost_Home
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Re:

Postby carlsojos » Sun Aug 07, 2011 4:08 pm

tilinelson2 wrote:I don't like very much to post links every time I write a new fanfic because it looks like "hey, pay attention to me!"...

Nah, it's more along the lines of advertising- you're helping people find a story they would otherwise miss out on. Gimme a minute and I'll read through.
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Re: If it is to be shameless to plug fanfics...

Postby carlsojos » Sun Aug 07, 2011 5:13 pm

Double posting just because I can....
Notes I took while reading in regards to tweaks:
"You made me do that." I'm not sure, but I think that "that" should be "it".

"...poking the soil...." This is optional, but I'd replace "poking" with "piercing", just to tweak the feel.

"...we should have got rid of the infection...." "got" -> "gotten"

"...at its very first beginning." "...at the very beginning."

"...looking for who-knows-what." This sentence is well played.

"...so we should not worry about." Omit "about", or change to "about it.".

"the friendly attitude towards us was clearly apparent." Huh? "apparent" seems to be a wrong word. I suggest "guise", "ruse", "posturing", or similar.

"...the position you had put me on." "on" -> "in"

"I wanted her; I needed her, like I've wanted no one else before." This whole paragraph is very well written in my book.

"...wife caught me in bed...." "caught" -> "catch"

"...I didn't meant her harm." "meant" -> "mean"

"...only be charged of the original...." "of" -> "for"

"...to unite all of the Algal Solar System control...." "Algol"
(end of notes)

Overall, this is a very unique story, I'm still struggling to comprehend the whole thing. You definitely got into the mind of this Dezorian, and showed a massive tragedy unfolding as he found himself succumbing to his own desires. It is a dark story, and I could feel the sadness caused by both him and the Palmans, and how the mutual distrust might've led to this situation. Looking deeper, you can even sense how there's more stories inside, how the Palman government had saw the situation and even makes me speculate on the girl's thoughts. I'm marking this one as one of your best so far.
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Re: If it is to be shameless to plug fanfics...

Postby tilinelson2 » Sun Aug 07, 2011 9:10 pm

G Thanks, CJ. It was an unusual st ory, but I felt like addressing the apparent hate for Palmans (remember, the village where they say "we hate Palmans" in PS1 is the one where they speak the truth), and the gneral prejudice against Motavians and Dezorians in the game (not necessarily the Palmans, but the game puts them under a worse light than Palmans).

Of course, to spice the things up, the narrator is unreliable, leading to more implications.

Thanks for pointing the mistakes too.

As for the attention/advertising thing, isn't advertising asking for attention? :p
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