Phantasy Star FRPG

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Phantasy Star FRPG

Postby Tsirkul » Fri Feb 04, 2011 10:22 pm

So, hello everybody, i'm glad to see you all after i was waiting for two days for your admin to activate my account (i was very nervous during this two very long days XD) and so, right now, i'll try to say you everything, that i was having in my mind for a very long time. And yes, before writing anything, i want to say sorry about my bad English, i'm from Russia, so don't take it close to your heart, just try to be patient :D
Right now I'm doing a forum role-playing game based on the events of Phantasy Star IV, my most favorite game ever. I have a very big plans and i'm not going to give up at half-way. And so, I need your help, guys, I need it very much. I'll just post here one description from my bestiary and i want you to comment it, to fix my mistakes, to say if my project has a future and so on... I hope you undestood me, so I begin. I'll right about Sand Newts, that cute blinking guys from the central Motavia and right now i'll try to translate it into English. Here it goes!
***
Sand Newt
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Despite its quite comic appearance, sand newts represent a great danger for those students who travel across Central and South parts of Motavia continent, but for more or less experienced hunters even three newts won't be any significant obstacle.
Really looking like big newts, who adapted to a waterless space, they received there name not because of the zone they live in (as negligent freshmen of Piata University think, who have never seen anything further than Zema or Aiedo), but because of their own leather coloring texture, that is very valued by Krup's leather-masters. Four froggy legs: two long, powerful hind legs and two forelegs, which newts use to rake up the water during swimming, some kind of a hump over the neck, where the spinal cord is (by the way, it performs all functions of an absent brain), sky-blue, always blinking eyes, because of which newts are often called "Mr. Blinky", and a mouth, covered with a moveable horn plate.
Now let’s say a little bit more about sand newt's physiology and habits. First of all, ruined during the Great Collapse Motavia's ecosystem hits the hydrological systems of the planet and, as a consequence, its inhabitants. When water massive of planer decreased nearly a half, newts had to get out of the water for getting any provision. After nearly a thousand years of evolution newts became amphibians, endowed with bright yellow inimical color. They became very dangerous rivals for all other Motavia's fauna. The only part of the their body, which didn't evolve, are their eyes, which structure made them almost totally blind out of water and made them blink frequently.
Secondly, despite all ecologic catastrophes, newts still live mainly in basins or natural caves. In the passage to Tonoe, for example, there are an incredible number of them and only the raising population of clusters controls the situation. Right after the season of laying eggs, newts start the hunting season, leaving their asylums to get enough food for the safe maturation of their children.
Newts attack with their two-meter tongue with a bone knob. Stunning a victim with one clear and immediate hit, they envelop it with their tongue and take it to an asylum, where the victim’s body turns into a convenient to absorb gruel under the hundreds of hits. Sometimes, exploring the sand newts’ asylums, young hunters may find whole rooms with this carrion mush of bone and flesh, which could be a very disgusting view for an unprepared man. However, this tongue isn’t able to break a usual leather armor and even leave any noticeable trace on it, but can leave a bruise. Newts often hunt with other types of creatures, but after the end they attack former allies/
Size: about one and a half meters in hump.
Location: Motavia, near Molcum, Krup and Tonoe, caves.
Rewarding for a victory and selling the remains: 40 mesetas.
Danger: average.
***
That's all, folks I'm doing such a chronic about every last creature, android or other %%USERNAMES%% and i want just to know your opinion about it. I'm counting on you, guys!
P.S.: And yes, please, tell me about all my grammar mistakes, i must know them :mrgreen:
Total annihilation of life, what a fine thing! Death to all that lives!
Destruction to all that has form! That is indeed my desire!
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Re: Phantasy Star FRPG

Postby BenoitRen » Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:12 pm

I think that's a very nice and elaborate description! I approve. :)
Get Xenoblade Chronicles!
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Re: Phantasy Star FRPG

Postby Tsirkul » Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:30 pm

Wow, thank you) If I'll post here more of my bestiary examples for your and other members' discussion, will it be OK? I'm well worried about the realism of the monster's description, because it must be some kind of a game's feature - little wiki with all needed for a simple player information. Even my closest friends had only started to play PSIV and others players, as i think, won't be able to such an act of bravery (:D), so that's why i want to create a very atmospheric game, where even such a player, who didn't ever took a joystick in his hands, will be interested)
Total annihilation of life, what a fine thing! Death to all that lives!
Destruction to all that has form! That is indeed my desire!
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Re: Phantasy Star FRPG

Postby Wing-0 » Fri Feb 04, 2011 11:44 pm

Your description felt more like a National Geographic documentary than a game thing. I like!

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Re: Phantasy Star FRPG

Postby Tsirkul » Sat Feb 05, 2011 12:02 am

Hah, you didn't read my Blob description. Be honest, i turned upside down all teh internets just for knowning the name of part of a jellyfish's body that hurts) Wanna know the name? Cnidocyte XD And this word figurates in Blob's description just to describing (sorry for tautology) the way how they are making that attacking lighting))) I just want to make them real)
Total annihilation of life, what a fine thing! Death to all that lives!
Destruction to all that has form! That is indeed my desire!
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Re: Phantasy Star FRPG

Postby Tanith » Sat Feb 05, 2011 8:02 am

Добро пожаловать!

(My husband was a Russian linguist in the Air Force; I don't actually know much Russian.)

I really liked your description and agree with WING-0 that it reads like something from National Geographic. It's very detailed and is an interesting way to flesh out PSIV.
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