Might I ask about people who would volunteer to proofread?

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Postby carlsojos » Mon Dec 27, 2010 1:43 am

I was gonna wait for my master editors to get me their edits before I pulled readers from here for individual chapters (I'm certain that there's more than a truckload of grammer problems in my current version), but I already finished putting most of the tags into my newest copy (I forgot some of the link tags, that I didn't notice right away). I know this is a long list, but these are the chapters that I currently have marked as needing another opinion. I'm still trying to shrink the list a bit.

9 First Fight scene. This scene isn't epic by design, but are there any improvements to do?
12 Long meeting, setting target of the group, and introducing a character. Is there a way to trunciate it without removing any material?
16 Complete BS on how a computer works. Is it too technical?
17 Action scene. Any way to improve it?
19 extension of 16. Too technical?
22 Action scene. Feels a touch monotonous.
27 Is there any way to improve Marika's ASR? Is the altered perception accurate?
30 Legal BS. It is justified in my formula, but what points need to be marked for clarification before this scene starts? I'll make the additions in the intro, and chapter 8. Marika's knowledge of it is justified in Chapter 31.
34 Action scene. Feels repetitive, I could use ideas for improvements.
37 Technical scene. I shortened the timeframe from reality, but do I need further simplification?
38 Docking scene-do I need to simplify? Mexican standoff-Is the conversation in line with canon sources?
42 Any way to simplify the technical conversation?
48 Action scene. Any improvements? Is the text at the end too graphic?
49 Lots of medical terms. Am I accurate to reality? Do I need to explain/simplify?
53 Action scene. Improvements? I'm not very happy about my depiction of the Eliminate skill.
59 Big lecture. Ideas to shorten it? Check to make sure it lines up with canon sources.
60 Big action scene. Supposed to be kinda epic, but It's clearly beyond my ability. I think the Cliffhanger ending is gonna tick off lots of people, but I CAN NOT change it due to the formula (I know what happens for about an hour beyond this point, before the story gets unclear, as it's still under construction). Is there a way to smooth it over, however?

All the files are designed to appear as they would if they get accepted for hosting here (I released a long string of explicit remarks when I saw how much it shrunk when I did this), so I would prefer people who don't mind reading in a web browser and editing the HTML directly. As they sit, the files should act like they are a part of another story already on PSC, if you test any of the links in them. I'll email the files as volunteers request them.

I can't remember if I already said this, but basically, the story is a "What if Sega had me make the story for a brand new PS game in the Algo system?" I'll worry about what happens next at a later time, since I'm currently extremely pessimistic for no real reason.

Before I forget, Black Sword, thanks again for brewing names for my characters. As I recall, I didn't send you any of the detailed character profiles, so Marika's name is pure coincidence, right? I nearly fell over when I realized how it fit the story so snugly, so much so that I honestly wonder if you managed to get a glimpse of the plot that I didn't mean to share earlier.
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Postby carlsojos » Fri Dec 31, 2010 3:38 pm

I need another proofreader, as fast as possible. I've got a flash fiction (960 words, 5,306 characters) that needs proofreading, and I want it submitted for approval here BEFORE 6:00AM GMT (midnight where I'm at). I'm getting ready to mark up tags, and I'd like to keep my promise of having something offered for this site before New Year's.

Oh, Benoit, where do I send the complete file once it's done? I assume that there's a short process to approve it for this site, but this one should go through a lot easier than the little novel that I currently shipped to Tanith for editing. This is something where I will send it out without external proofreading if I have to, since I can read through it so fast.
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Postby carlsojos » Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:57 am

I need a proofreader for my next short story, temporary title "Hydrofoil." 1,784 words, 9,945 characters in my current version. Same story thread as "Test Flight," minus some of the technical details due to my inexperience with the technology involved. I project the next deadline at around February 2nd, based on my predictions of Benoit's updating schedule.
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Postby Tanith » Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:08 am

I'm here. Work is slow. Send it to my email address (do you still have it?). Stick around and I'll have it read within the 1/2 hour.
"I don't go to very many social events apart from fires." - carlsojos
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Postby carlsojos » Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:12 am

I have your gmail, should be there in 60 seconds.
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Postby Tanith » Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:16 am

Got it. :) Reading it now.
"I don't go to very many social events apart from fires." - carlsojos
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Postby Tanith » Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:33 am

Email sent.
"I don't go to very many social events apart from fires." - carlsojos
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Postby carlsojos » Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:43 am

Thank ya much, Tanith! 8)
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Postby Tanith » Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:49 am

My pleasure!
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Postby BenoitRen » Fri Jan 28, 2011 1:37 pm

Tanith wrote:I'm here. Work is slow. Send it to my email address (do you still have it?). Stick around and I'll have it read within the 1/2 hour.

Hey, what about WING-0's story? :(
Get Xenoblade Chronicles!
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Postby Tanith » Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:40 pm

I was at work when I wrote that. I don't have any way of extracting files on my computer at work, so there's no way for me to view WING-0's files. At home, I was having trouble with Winzip, which I finally gave up on, followed by me having problems with Winrar, which I found I was installing the wrong version. Because I'm a moron.

I already sent WING-0 an email explaining my computer idiocy and general dicking around and not getting the right program installed in a timely manner along with an apology, but thank you for publicly bringing this up.
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Postby carlsojos » Fri Jan 28, 2011 2:44 pm

Tanith wrote:I was at work when I wrote that. I don't have any way of extracting files on my computer at work...

I already sent WING-0 an email explaining my computer idiocy and general dicking around and not getting the right program installed in a timely manner along with an apology, but thank you for publicly bringing this up.


I would like to suggest 7Zip, which is available at http://www.7-zip.org/. It's free, open source, and capable of opening .zip, .rar, .7z, .tar.gz, and several others. It uses a menu system different from other applications, but it should be able to cure that woe.
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Postby Tanith » Fri Jan 28, 2011 3:52 pm

Thanks, but I can't download programs to my work computer. I will look at installing that program on my home comp, but I did get Winrar to work, finally. The difference between 64 and 32 bit seemed to make everything better.

*accepts World's Biggest Program Moron award*

Thank you, thank you.

*bows*
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Postby carlsojos » Fri Jan 28, 2011 4:07 pm

Tanith wrote:*accepts World's Biggest Program Moron award*


I don't know about that... I can't find the exact quote, but I'll paraphrase what I remember from a guy I heard about at one of the places I train at.

"Somebody, help! My computer is really slow from malware, but I can't get rid of it! I've already installed 19 antivirus programs!" -can't remember username, on hackthissite.org
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Postby Wing-0 » Fri Jan 28, 2011 8:04 pm

*slips with a soap in the bathroom and hits his head*

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!!!

I'm actually having that problem... And I suck ass with dealing with malware... Suggestions?

...Pretty please?

No, really, I'm screwed in here...
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