A day in the life...

[toee]

By many people's standards I have no right to complain about my life. To some, perhaps the life I lead is a desirable one. I am not someone else though, just me. My life is the only one I know.<p>I work at Fed Ex Ground on the sunrise sort, that is 4:30 AM EST- whenever we are done. My weekdays start on the Tuesday morning that I go in and ends Saturday after I am done. Basically, I am responsible for loading trucks with various packages ranging from simple manilla colored envelopes containg perscription drugs and invoices up to 180 pound Bush furniture. For those curious few among you, 150 pounds is the maximum allowed weight limit per package. After carrying several dozen Bush around every working day, believe me when I say it starts to get to ya physically and emotionally. When a wave of Bush comes rolling down the conveyor belt to me i feel nothing but fatigue and despair. <p>Maybe that doesn't sound to bad to whoever happens to be reading this, but this is a job. With any job come the bosses. I've been working at Fed Ex for almost 2.5 years now. I've gone through over a dozen managers. 3 of them were decent people. The others were total f*****g pricks. Maybe, in some cases, they had worked there for too long and their dreams were dead causing them to grow bitter. Understandable, but they take it out on us. Some of the other managers, my current one in specific, have troubles at home with the woman or family or whatever. Sorry you're having trouble, man, but I don't take too kindly to being treated like an idiot.<p>So work is finally over. Yay. I get back to my apartment. My friends brother is passed out on the couch as usual. Be it depression or his meds or both, I hardly ever see him awake anymore. At least this week. I eat two bowls of cereal, watch TBS until Ed is over and go to sleep before The Cosby Show comes on, or at least I'm in bed by then. On a good day, because I do sleep during the day, it takes me an hour to fall asleep. I start to rise from the dead around 7PM. I'm up and about by 830PM. <p>From that point on, I sit around bored trying to avoid thoughts of my past until I leave for work. Bored and lonely and regretting just about every decision I have ever made. I estrange everyone who gets close, pushing them away until I never see them again. I've made strangers of my parents, who I don't really talk to. The best friend I've ever had, well she got married to a military man and moved to Germany. At this point I know I should do something with myself, realizing you have a problem is supposedly the first step. But I lack the ambition and the courage to do anything about it. <p>I'm not posting this to get some pity or for some handouts. I'm doing it because while I realize some will read this and have some fun at my expense, I needed to get some of this out. I know most of you are mature enough to understand that and not be asses which is why I post it here. <p>Adios and such.

[KexMex]

Wtf, "no right to complain"? Do it all you want!<p>That sounds like a bad day. *Hugs* You could use some care.

[Mage1]

You seem tired after work.<p>After so many years you must feel overworked...

[Malakai]

Well you certainly seem human, and that's a good thing. Look on the bright side; you have a home to retire to and you have a job, as difficult as it might be. You live in a country that grants you many freedoms and privileges, so you have that to be grateful for.<p>You're not horrible for complaing though, it's just that the last thing to do is let negative emotions and thoughts prevail in your life. As for pity...pity is condescending in nature, whereas compassion instead shows real understanding. So you're right, I won't give you pity, but I can try and sympathize with you to understand where you're coming form so as to help in whatever way possible.

[Lord Khyron]

This person reminds me of Ronixis Kenni from the PSDB...<p>Anyways, Complain all you wish. Livejournals work just as well.<p>Complaining sometimes keeps you from overloading your emotional system and doing something BAD.